In 2011: Three Simple Ways to Ruin A Friendship


You want to wreck your friendship? Here are the danger signs.

1. If you betray your friends, will they ever forget it?

Loyalty is the sweetest gift of friendship. Status, age or sex will not matter here. In any dimension of time or place a friend tries to be present, especially in very difficult situations. Honesty will be tried and tons of courage will bleed for a friend, and that is why many groups and communities are formed with a pledge or oath of duty.

Observe the military training, obedience for a vocation and/or priesthood, or an ordinary citizen's love for his/her country. See the loyalty of a servant to service, the love of parents to children, a soldier fighting in a war. How about the martyr's and the saint's true love for God and everyone?

Loyalty cannot be measured and paid any price. The giver and receiver live one heart and one mind. They both understand each other and are conscious of each other's needs. If however, a slip of loyalty ensues, as in the true repentance of Peter, the true friend will pardon and work to recover the true friendship.

Jesus Christ forgave Peter for denying him three times. Peter asked for forgiveness. They both understood that true love in the heart will wash away the wrong acts. Unlike Judas, Peter believed that the love of his friend, Jesus, was greater than his (Peter's) betrayal. On the other hand, Jesus still trusted Peter through what happened. True friendship is infallible.

2. Will you accept your friend, despite?

Despite some bad habits, will you accept your friend? He comes late for an appointment. He forgets something you told him about. He seems to be messy when eating and his cabinet stinks. Or, she often forgets to bring in some food, forgets your birthday, and doesn't show up in some meetings?

Sit and talk about for solutions to the problems. Make it like admonishing a family member, an office worker, a strange student or a forgetful and busy boss. The acceptance of each other is necessary. Remember that in acceptance, comes the duty of helping a friend to let him/her become a better person.

3. Are you so mean or indifferent?

Being so mean would never help. It will quickly destroy the relationship. Kindness and generosity should always rule friends. Selfishness is a "no-no." You don't go back to the past, bringing back unforgivable situations like digging graves.

Being indifferent is just like not giving any care, if at all. You must not give up on the friendship that easy. Friends have to communicate and understand each other to work up on situations and issues that need to be solved.

So watch out when you break the vow of fidelity or never forgive the other and accept some sacrifice. Know when you are mean or indifferent. If these happen, chances are your friendship will go down the drain.

Love hurts.

Rosalinda Flores Martinez
January 2012


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