February 21, 2010
Communicate Effectively
Have you ever told another person, “You make me angry” or “You make me sad?” If your answer is yes, then in those situations, you have shifted a responsibility for your feelings on your behavior to another. In effect, you have given another person more control over you than you have exercised over yourself. But this one is exciting, so you have to know how to disconnect the wires anytime you choose. The next time, you will be in charge, and you have taken a first step toward keeping your interactions at a level where you can communicate effectively and solve problems rationally.
When someone accuses you and your staff in an organization or community, you will experience what is called stress response: increased blood pressure, increase muscle blood flow, increased pumping of blood by the heart and secretions of adrenalin. You will instinctively want to stand your ground and fight, or turn and flee, either physically or psychologically. If you have the flight response, you may deny responsibility, suppress your feeling, or become indecisive.
There are some coping techniques which will help you keep your cool in this situation so that you can communicate. The first is to monitor your own internal signals so that you are aware of your own stress response. Next, move quickly to determine the source of stress. In this case, the stressors are both social and organizational.
Breathing slowly and deeply has a claming effect. Let them know you recognize their emotions. Manage your own stress response and stay calm. The second is to give recognition to the other person’s feelings.
Next, go into a listen mode and really hear him own. Once you have diffused the anger and listened to the reasons for this feelings, you are in a position to move from the emotional level to the rational by shifting into a problem solving mode.
You’ll be more effective if you communicate concerns. When you repeatedly overlook instances of poor or mediocre performance, or even on-performance, the negative feelings build up and you eventually reach the breaking point and explode. If you don’t communicate rationally or effectively, the other person taken by surprise, resents the treatment received and wonders what’s the main point.
Feedback is received best when other person senses that you want to be of help and to be of any value in bringing about a change in behavior. Most of the feedback must be specific, not general.
/rose flores martinez
2.21.2010, for ezine articles.com
100 Articles Challenge
Communicate Effectively
Have you ever told another person, “You make me angry” or “You make me sad?” If your answer is yes, then in those situations, you have shifted a responsibility for your feelings on your behavior to another. In effect, you have given another person more control over you than you have exercised over yourself. But this one is exciting, so you have to know how to disconnect the wires anytime you choose. The next time, you will be in charge, and you have taken a first step toward keeping your interactions at a level where you can communicate effectively and solve problems rationally.
When someone accuses you and your staff in an organization or community, you will experience what is called stress response: increased blood pressure, increase muscle blood flow, increased pumping of blood by the heart and secretions of adrenalin. You will instinctively want to stand your ground and fight, or turn and flee, either physically or psychologically. If you have the flight response, you may deny responsibility, suppress your feeling, or become indecisive.
There are some coping techniques which will help you keep your cool in this situation so that you can communicate. The first is to monitor your own internal signals so that you are aware of your own stress response. Next, move quickly to determine the source of stress. In this case, the stressors are both social and organizational.
Breathing slowly and deeply has a claming effect. Let them know you recognize their emotions. Manage your own stress response and stay calm. The second is to give recognition to the other person’s feelings.
Next, go into a listen mode and really hear him own. Once you have diffused the anger and listened to the reasons for this feelings, you are in a position to move from the emotional level to the rational by shifting into a problem solving mode.
You’ll be more effective if you communicate concerns. When you repeatedly overlook instances of poor or mediocre performance, or even on-performance, the negative feelings build up and you eventually reach the breaking point and explode. If you don’t communicate rationally or effectively, the other person taken by surprise, resents the treatment received and wonders what’s the main point.
Feedback is received best when other person senses that you want to be of help and to be of any value in bringing about a change in behavior. Most of the feedback must be specific, not general.
/rose flores martinez
2.21.2010, for ezine articles.com
100 Articles Challenge
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