Games People Play
We present a bewildering range of faces. Some of us put on shows and use these performances to manipulate others into doing things. The following are classic ploys for getting one’s own way.
1. I’m so ill.
Some children learn how to use this one very early, from mothers who ignore them most of the time but fuss over them when they have minor ailment. Poor me’s don’t always complain with symptoms, they’re much cleverer than that.
2. Do as you please, don’t mind me.
Here people makes one feel guilty, the “Do as you pleaser,” immediately reacts by piling on the guilt.
3. I’ll do my duty by you even if it kills me.
This people punish the helpless person for needing their care. Duty doers feel obliged to take on inevitable burdens.
4. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
The dreadful power of the weak! We all have times in our lives when we need to turn to others for help. But sooner or later, even the most unfortunate need to show some courage, some willingness to try to cope. The trouble with “I don’t know what to do.” Many helpful young careers have been poisoned by helpless parents – and that is wicked.
5. Let me do it. You know you can’t manage.
The daughter-in-law, aware that her mother-in-law dislikes her, is trapped. She must accept the help because if she doesn’t she’ll be in the wrong in her husband’s eyes.
If you spot this being tried on you, simple say sweetly, “No, thanks, dear, I can do it on my own.”
Ways to Defend Yourself:
They are charming, cunning, quick on their feet. Just when you think you have been befriended, you find you have been duped. The following are techniques from the book “The Assertive Woman” (Philips and Austin, Impact Publishers).
1. Think small. A red flag should go up when hearing the terms “you should.” These are signals that someone is trying to make you feel guilty.
2. Say it again. Repeating what is said to you or summarizing it (So you are saying that…).
3. Negotiate. Compromise with the manipulator. If both parties stay honest, both come out winners.
4. Ask why.
5. Control the issue immediately. Don’t let history repeat itself.
6. Beware of flattery.
7. Take time out. Pause to consider changes and issues.
8. Refocus the issue. Weed out irrelevant facts to obscure an issue.
Remember the manipulator strikes where he knows will hurt most . To guard out your Achilles’ heel, be aware of your fears – then practice by not reacting. Get the chance to control the situation instead of being controlled. Watch out!
http://rfvietnamrose09.blogspot.com
/rose flores - martinez
We present a bewildering range of faces. Some of us put on shows and use these performances to manipulate others into doing things. The following are classic ploys for getting one’s own way.
1. I’m so ill.
Some children learn how to use this one very early, from mothers who ignore them most of the time but fuss over them when they have minor ailment. Poor me’s don’t always complain with symptoms, they’re much cleverer than that.
2. Do as you please, don’t mind me.
Here people makes one feel guilty, the “Do as you pleaser,” immediately reacts by piling on the guilt.
3. I’ll do my duty by you even if it kills me.
This people punish the helpless person for needing their care. Duty doers feel obliged to take on inevitable burdens.
4. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
The dreadful power of the weak! We all have times in our lives when we need to turn to others for help. But sooner or later, even the most unfortunate need to show some courage, some willingness to try to cope. The trouble with “I don’t know what to do.” Many helpful young careers have been poisoned by helpless parents – and that is wicked.
5. Let me do it. You know you can’t manage.
The daughter-in-law, aware that her mother-in-law dislikes her, is trapped. She must accept the help because if she doesn’t she’ll be in the wrong in her husband’s eyes.
If you spot this being tried on you, simple say sweetly, “No, thanks, dear, I can do it on my own.”
Ways to Defend Yourself:
They are charming, cunning, quick on their feet. Just when you think you have been befriended, you find you have been duped. The following are techniques from the book “The Assertive Woman” (Philips and Austin, Impact Publishers).
1. Think small. A red flag should go up when hearing the terms “you should.” These are signals that someone is trying to make you feel guilty.
2. Say it again. Repeating what is said to you or summarizing it (So you are saying that…).
3. Negotiate. Compromise with the manipulator. If both parties stay honest, both come out winners.
4. Ask why.
5. Control the issue immediately. Don’t let history repeat itself.
6. Beware of flattery.
7. Take time out. Pause to consider changes and issues.
8. Refocus the issue. Weed out irrelevant facts to obscure an issue.
Remember the manipulator strikes where he knows will hurt most . To guard out your Achilles’ heel, be aware of your fears – then practice by not reacting. Get the chance to control the situation instead of being controlled. Watch out!
http://rfvietnamrose09.blogspot.com
/rose flores - martinez
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